Worried

Not something I really want to blog about, but all my blogging buddies are my comfort zone. I am really worried about my husband. 5 years ago this month he had a heart attack. Should have been an eye opener but.......no. He just says he had a weak moment. He didn't have any surgery, wouldn't let them do a cath, quit taking his meds (which ended up in the garbage out of date). Now he is having the same symptoms again. I don't know what to do. He won't go see a doctor. He tells me he is fine. I don't believe him. I'm scared to death. 49 is too young to be a widow. And I don't want to be one at any age. If he is getting ready to have another heart attack, I'm not so sure he'll survive this time. Liz, my son Scott's girlfriend, is a cardiac nurse. She recently moved into the house with us. She is very concerned too and has been questioning the doctors at work about what she can do to help. We had a long talk about Hut last night while he was at the Sheriff's meeting. I got to crying. I love my husband so much and I don't understand how he can be such a selfish mule. He has beautiful grandbabies to watch grow up, two stepsons and their women who love him dearly. And me, but I'm just the wife. I'm just so frustrated and aggravated and oh, so many other feelings that I just don't know how I feel. Thank you for letting me vent and hopefully Hut will come to his senses soon. I love you guys, thanks for being there.