Thursday, April 8, 2010

Am I Crazy?

Photo of a happier time with the ex (Wade's wedding)
You all know what I went through because of my ex-husband with my son Scott. Well Tuesday I decided to try to see if he would be my friend on FaceBook. Partly to keep an eye on him and see what he's up to, but also to try and mend some fences since we not only share children but now grandchildren. He did befriend me on FB but he sent an message I wasn't real happy with. So I, of course, sent back a nasty message. So he decides we need to talk and he calls my son to tell him to have me call him. Hut was not real happy about any of this and told me I shouldn't call him. Well I decided I have kept my mouth shut with him for too long and yes, I was going to call him.

I did call him, and for the next 45 minutes and 3 seconds couldn't get a word in edgewise. Not really, I did get a few good licks in there but not many, lol. We have worked out most of the issues, enough that we can be civil to each other at family events. So am I crazy for even talking to this man again? Probably but I really don't want to have the kids and grandkids walking on pins and needles or be afraid to talk about the other parent/grandparent. So I think that yes, I'm crazy......but it's all for a good cause! All comments and lashings welcome.


Missy's Blog said...

Bonnie, I don't think you are crazy. I think you are trying to mend fences for your children and grandchildren.

I know how hard Mike's parents worked to get to the place they are right now for their kids/grandkids. It's so important to be able to enjoy the family in a pleasant way without putting anyone ill at ease.

Much of what's happened with you guys have been in the recent past ... it will take time to get to a place of trust again. Take it easy (and slow) and together you and Jerome will have a pleasant relationship with him.

Granny Annie said...

Thankfully after my children were both out of college and married, I no longer needed to have contact with my ex. Ron and I married and we absolutely love grand-parenting together. The ex made his own decisions about that just like he did about his parenting and sadly he missed out on a lot prior to his death two years ago. I cannot see how you would even want to be in touch with your ex much less care about what direction he takes with adult children. The boys are in a place to make their own decisions, good or bad and you and Hut need to be living on fun, laughter, love and cherished moments!

Bonnie said...

Hut and I will make our own memories with the kids and grandbabies. I just want to make things easier for the kids. I don't want them to feel like they are in the middle. My relationship with my ex will never be what it was in the past, but we can at least be civil if we have to be at an event together. I was fortunate that my parents never divorced. So I am doing what I think is best for my children (grown or not).

PEA said...

I can understand why you would want a civil relationship with your ex because of the kids and grandkids. As you say, at least at family gatherings they won't have to watch every word they say! Although my husband and I are still married, we only share the house and nothing else. We just found we make better friends than a married couple! lol Neither of us can afford to get our own place so that's why we share the house. At least when the kids come home, it's all peaceful and we even travel together to go visit them. Makes it so much easier on them that we get along. He knows I have Steve in my life...after all, he has his life and I have mine:-) xoxo

Cecile said...

You are so right Bonnie...If every family tried to do what you are doing the kids would be better off and not feeling like they have to choose one parent over another..And I have seen some crappy Dads make awesome Grandpa's...Keep up the great work:)HUGS!